An Interview with a Cartoon Mike Peters

“Hi, I’m a little busy now getting some divine revelation from heaven. Oh, by the way, I’m the Legalist side of Mike Peters. Do I get this stuff from the Bible? No way because then I would be having to follow the way, the truth, and the life. However, in essence, my church is following “my” way, “my” truth, but no one can really live “my” life as that would be too hard for them.

Wait a minute? I think I’m getting some inspiration here? No shopping at Wal-Mart after eight! No shopping at K-Mart after nine. Yes, that way I’ll be the only one getting those blue light specials. Wait a minute inspiration! It seems as if I’m getting another line trying to transfer to me?”

“If you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations? Colossians 2:20.

“I don’t think I like that kind of inspiration. I’ve got another one coming in. No one can be outside after ten oclock on the weekend. Good! What’s that? Yes, this is a good one coming in! Only I can counsel women that are having difficulties with their husbands? Yes, that seems good and proper to me. Wait a second, that other line is ringing in again?”

“Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle, which all concern things which perish with the using, according to the commandments and doctrines of men” Colossians 2:21-22.

“I don’t think I like this other line! My inspiration is telling me now that no one is to handle any doctrine but mine. Yes, that is most necessary. Wait a minute! That other line is buzzing in again!”

“Not giving heed to commandments of men who turn from the truth” Titus 1:14.

“But “my” way is the only truth my flock needs! Yes, hold all things in common, except of course for my R-rated violent movies. Yes, I will make that one known! Oh, no, that other line again is pestering me to death!”

“These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion” Colossians 2:23.

“What do you mean by that? I haven’t called this the Peters church? At least, not yet!”

“In vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men” Matthew 15:9.

“That one has to come from some sort of demonic spirit. There must be some static on that other line of inspiration?”

“Evil men and imposters will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived” 2 Timothy 3:13.

“That other line is talking to Apostle Mike Peters! Who does it think he is talking to me that way?”

“Such are false apostles, deceitful workers, tranforming themselves into apostles of Christ. And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness” 2 Corinthians 11:13-15.

“My inspiration time is over! O-V-E-R! I’m going to have to pray to God about that party line of inspiration coming into my ears! I’m sure glad that no one else but me is privy to this stuff! Like I’d let them! You there! I’m the one that needs to spank that child for misbehaving. Now where is that paddle?”

“They went out from us but they were not of us” 1 John 2:19.

“Could that voice? Nah? Could that be Chris Olive?”