The Mentoring Woes of T D Jakes

“O, Lordy, do I have an Excedrin Headache number at least 400! President Bush told me to begin mentoring children and the two I thought to mentor, Juanita Bynum and Paula White, have let me down. Sister Queenie had that prophecy of marrying Bishop Weeks and what a revelation to have? Talk about sowing some rotten oats. Oh my head aches as to why Juanita and Paula didn’t stay on the road I told them too. Now my mentoring skills are going down the drain along with those two sisters. Both are contemplating divorces and one may become a prisoner of love literally. I’ve got to stay silent on this issue because how will other sisters come to me after all this? Not that I want sister Myers to choose to be mentored by me as I’m not that crazy yet. Global Destiny and Without Walls need some levity so maybe Brother Jesse will go out there and provide them with something to laugh about? Or maybe that glass eyed Schuller could give them some possiblity thinking to stem the tide?I’d go but I don’t want to get involved and be under the mircoscope anymore than I am now. Those two dear sisters have abandoned my generous advice and gone astray. Yes, they still bring in the bucks, but their menfolk have both let them down. Thomas is about to be tending bars behind them and Randy can’t wait for a year to go by so he can start a new church in California. My Potter’s House babies have turned into a lump of clay. Lordy, is my head ever hurting. I wonder if all this will cause my ratings to drop? I mean, everyone knows that I mentored those two sisters?

What I need to do is put on a Sister Juanita CD to comfort my aching head. After all I’ve highly invested in her music business and that should help me to relax. As for Sister Paula, well, I’ve got her picture here on my desk and that can also help to calm my torutured soul. Should I get involved in all this? I’ve got to consult the highest source for this so where did I put my four leaf clover?”